ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize