how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Randomize
