My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
