Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I can't turn off my feet"
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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