I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
When are your genitals available?
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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