and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
