Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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