I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Randomize
