So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
