Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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