Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Randomize
