cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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