bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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