well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Randomize
