Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize