physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Randomize
