Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
