This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
