As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Actions speak louder than pants.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Randomize
