im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
