i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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