I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
He? As in you personified your dick?
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Randomize
