So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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