If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
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