I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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