Sry I called you an 8
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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