If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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