help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
