Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I think I am morally bankrupt
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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