I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
