i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
