Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
