I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
