Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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