What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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