I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Randomize
