I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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