my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
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