Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
