A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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