You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
