ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
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