i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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