if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize