I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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