I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
