when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
