I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
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