Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
