The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Hippo gnu deer
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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