So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
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