Can Purell be used as lube?
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Randomize
