My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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