wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
There r osticjed everywhere
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Randomize
