They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
