so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
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