We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
