Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
