That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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