worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
