it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
