Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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